Posted by: The Critic of Filipino Idiocy | 31 October 2006

Happy Halloween from the Third World!

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Graveyard picnics and family reunions on 1 November. Photo courtesy of INQ7.net. Bikoy.net has more.

HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES, 31 October doesn’t mean lootbags, candy, scary costumes and trick-or-treating. It means a war-for-oil-worthy preparation for the equally agonizing bloodbath the following day. 1 November. All Saints’ Day. Yet they call it here as, from a very rough translation of the Filipinos’ Araw ng mga Patay, the day of dead. They go to memorial parks, clean up their departed loved ones’ tombs, and light up some candles and offer flowers. By they, I mean millions of them. Memorial parks on this very day are so crowded with not-entirely-odor-free relatives and visitors that traffic has to be majorly rerouted, probably for people who have no business with memorial parks and no intentions of having picnics in graveyards to save themselves from all the ruckus. And probably all the stench, too.

It is a smelly and potentially chaotic (oh well, so much for understatements) affair. Having established in previous posts (on this blog and others, too) that most Filipinos are uncivilized, undisciplined barbarians bastards, something is bound to go wrong. And most of the time, more than just something goes wrong. That’s why the police are deployed on this day at all memorial parks. According to the news, this year, they are deploying 15,000 police officers from today until 2 November. I wish they would deploy the Hilter guys instead. So they could shoot people’s heads off at the slightest hint of a commotion. Or a stupid deed. These millions are going to lessen to a mere thousands if that would be the case.

Point to make: This occasion is fine. But it doesn’t have to be done in a collective (and therefore hysterical) manner. The people are given a year to do this and they all choose to do it on the same day. It’s just following tradition, yes, but it is illogical. It’s a waste of energy and resources and the budget for police deployment can be used for better things, like public education (oh they sooo badly need it) or whatever.

The existence of and the logic behind traditions are almost never questioned. I guess this says that much about how average Filipino brain works. ALWAYS DO AS THEY SAY. WHAT DO WE STAND TO LOSE IF WE FOLLOW THIS BIT OF IRRATIONALITY? NOTHING! That’s the Filipino motto.

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Responses

  1. Thanks! I’ve been told to digg my page, but I don’t think thats a good idea.

    I’ll “earn” the violin the “hard” way.

  2. I don’t even know what the hell digg means. I’m checking it out now. Thanks for visiting!

  3. Maybe it’s like Christmas, we have all year to go shopping, yet most people wait until at least November/December to do their shopping 🙂

    I know there’s a similar tradition in Bali where every so often they dig up their relatives and clean their bones, which sounds very creepy indeed. Is this the same kind of thing? Or do the Filipinos just have a picnic?

  4. That Bali thing is way creepy. It’s not the same kind of thing at all. They all just have a picnic, sing rock songs, and get hammered on this day. (Note: It’s supposed to be a solemn occasion.)

  5. Oooo, for American culture, that’d be a strange thing to see. Picnics at grave sites. Always interesting to learn different views, at least it is for me.

  6. And a friend asked on her blog, “[…] tama bang tawaging halloween day ang All Soul’s Day?”

    Honestly, I’d rather stay home than try to squeeze myself in the crowded memorial parks.

  7. That’s why we visit our dead a week before to avoid dem crazy crowds and be as solemn as we wish. Thanks for visiting. I’m lovin’ your blog.

  8. I’ve never heard of people going to memorial parks / graveyards like that…. Strange tradition indeed. And to have a picnic there? Really strange to me – but hey, if all the world was the same, it’d be boring 😉

  9. Hello, readers from across the pond. Thank you for visiting, and for agreeing with me when I say that it is very creepy indeed.

  10. Just a correction: you say “developing countries” and not “third world countries”, as in nations like the Philippines, Brazil, etc; “developed countries” and not “first world countries” as in nations like Canada, the United States, etc. 😀

  11. Oh screw political correctness. Third World is much more fun. And much more properly descriptive of what kind of mess we all are in.

  12. we have our own culture so just respect that. Americans have different culture than ours, and thats fine by me.
    “It’s a waste of energy and resources and the budget for police deployment can be used for better things, like public education (oh they sooo badly need it) or whatever.”

    For you its a waste of money but for us its not. I personally see thanksgiving day as a waste of money too but then again that’s the American way of expressing their feelings and emotions about thanksgiving day.

    Bottomline: better respect each other’s culture. Not because you don’t like it, everybody doesnt like it too. Youre so pathetic!

  13. If I don’t like it, then it’s stupid. It’s that simple.

    I know for a fact that you would be singing a different tune if you were dead, and everyone was on a picnic having a great time and singing Wowowee above your grave.

    Respect is EARNED. Remember that. If you can, at least.

  14. “Oh screw political correctness. Third World is much more fun. And much more properly descriptive of what kind of mess we all are in.”

    But it’s still not politically correct. It’s like calling colored people “niggers”. It’s condescending.

    And if you’re out to derogate others’ culture, tradition and nationality, then you might as well divulge your own identity. Be audacious enough to tell the cyber world who you really are.

    Do try to open your mind sometimes. I’m sure that there are also some loopholes in your country, wherever you come from. Karma has its ways. 🙂

  15. I belong to one of those families who used to have picnics where the deceased rest in peace. Good thing we don’t do that now… Good thing we’ve changed and just pray for the dead whenever we have time to visit them. Now I feel normal.

  16. Congratulations to you. You have made logic win over tradition. You’re now one of us. Just wait for the cute little blue G to glow in your eyes. If it doesn’t, please text JOIN to 2277. LOL. Thanks for your visit.

  17. “If I don’t like it, then it’s stupid. It’s that simple.”

    Wow. Are you god? Well, I guess since you think you’re so omnipotent and so infallible that you MUST be god.

    Anyway, who are you (besides being god, of course) to dictate what is stupid and what is not? I smell another Hitler.

    You really have a lot of hate for Filipinos inside of you, don’t you? Is it because you were molested as a child by a Filipino? Hmm.


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